Friday, December 03, 2004

It's all in the preparation

Gather 'round, children, and let Uncle Editor teach you a lesson in moving. It's all in the preparation. Do as I say and maybe someday your move will go as smooth as mine.

1) 5:30pm: pick-up rental truck
2) 5:45pm: begin packing truck
3) 6:30pm: finish packing truck
4) 6:45pm: arrive at your favorite fast food restaurant and send you significant other in with cash.
5) 6:46pm: receive phone call from your sister with pertinent information regarding what sort of Christmas gift you should get your nephew, forcing you to re-route (not far, though) to your high speed internet connection to place an order for a gift.
6) 6:56pm: arrive at internet connection site
7) 7:00pm: watch your significant other storm out the door on her way back to preferred restaurant because they put the sour cream on after being asked not to.
8) 7:15pm: finalize purchase (yeah, it took that long because Disney's site did not like a # sign in the address field)
9) 7:16: sig. returns.
10) 7:17pm: go make a few more comments over at American Warmonger
11) 7:30pm: hit the road
12) 8:00pm: arrive to destination and catch a half hour of '70s Show (yeah, it's pretty much one of the only situational comedies I watch)
13) 8:30pm: begin unpacking
14) 8:45pm: finish unpacking everything into the garage
15) 9:00pm: decide it's still early and you can go drop off the truck and get this thing over with.
16) 9:30pm: drop off truck
17) 9:40pm: return to high speed connection site and teach you shmoes a lesson in preparation.

Okay - any of you going to question whether I can prepare myself to build a home?

This makes me say, "crap": Part II

I'm moving this weekend and now they say there's a chance of snow.


UPDATE: I'm moving to the "convergence zone".


What bad ecomony? Here is what I have to say about the American economy - it is resiliant. You have political "leaders" talking it down for 3-years and what does it do? Ignores them.

I don't know what things are like in your neck of the woods, but even here in Seattle things seem to be juuuuussst fine (here's hoping Gregoire concedes, today). How do I know it? Well, just at the beginning of this month the "EiP pink Old Navy fleece pullover Babe" received a promotion and a substantial raise to go with it. And just yesterday, the Editor received a very unexpected raise, as well - one I never even asked for. So, there - good, honest, hard does pay-off and the economy is just fine. You wanna job? Go get one or create one for yourself. I don't want to hear any whining from you.

And by the way, poverty is a mindset (for the most part).

UPDATE: Crrrrap.

Kenneth, where's the humor?!

So, take an outstanding writer, give him a space to write and hilarity ensues. Take a long time news organization, install a dumba** who considers himself the last word and watch your ratings plummet once he finally fudges up WAY too big to cover up.

That's why the blogosphere is 100-fold (probably more, but I'm being conservative) better than the Dead Media (formerly known as the Old Media, and prior to that the Legacy Media) - the blogosphere does not take itself seriously, which means it can cover big stories brilliantly, with reason AND humor, while the DM takes itself ridiculously serious. Oh, sure, you're going to say, "What about the Daily Show"? What about it? Have you ever seen John Daily away from the show? He takes himself seriously? I don't know why - nobody else does. At least Dan Rather had the 75 year-old+ audience who somewhat took him seriously.

Can you imagine the fuming going on in the Dead Media these days after it was announced "blog" was the word of the year. Even Merriam-Webster, who in all seriousness should be some of the dullest people, has a sense of humor. What? Oh, they were serious? Oh well. Take that, Vice President Kenneth Burrows!

And talk about humor... why the heck doesn't Blogger's spell check recognize "blog" as a word? Common - IT'S IN MERRIAM-WEBSTER!!! Sometimes a person is forced into believing Microsoft owns Pyra.

Things that make me say, "crap!"

This is a new running serious to EiP. They will generally be short and
you can bet they probably happened to me in the last 24 hours. So on
with the show.

This thing makes me say, "crap":

When you are about to fill up the gas tank and decide to put a bottle of
Techron in first, you put the bottle in and it appears to stay put by
itself. So you turn around for a few seconds to swipe your card, then,
just as you attempt to grab the bottle it decides to slip out and fall
to the ground, while the inertia of this throws Techron all over your
pants. On top of that, you had just put those pair of pants on to wear
the next day and packed everything else to move. Then you have to run
from your girlfriend's apartment to the laundry room in your boxers to
wash the pants you just put on and then can't find 50-cents more worth
of quarters to put the pants in the dryer, so you have to hang them up
on a drying rack and point the fan at them, you get to bed, late. Thank
God for the Shout pre-wash scrubber.


Thursday, December 02, 2004


There is just something about relocating that makes everyone cringe, am I right? Let me tell you, though, you should take that lemon and make it into a nice "lemonade & whiskey" (lemonade in Australia is just generic 7-UP). How, you might ask.

Here is my remedy - season to your own taste preferences:

1) Off the bat, decide that at least 1/2 of all stuff you have acquired is junk.
2) Go through your stuff and figure out what half is junk and what half is worth considering keeping.
3) Back the pickup to a spot where you can throw things out the second window into the truckbed.
4) Start tossing
5) Drive to the dump (or transfer station depending on your location).
6) Get weighed
7) Dump (if there is anything worth having, the transfer station guys will let you know by putting it in their lockers).
8) Get weighed again
9) Pay the dude
10) Drive home with a smile because you just discovered you are not tied down to stuff (if you don't drive home with a smile you have some soul searching to do).

Trust me, I didn't figure this out by accident. When I moved to Australia I was forced to determine WHAT was really important to me. I ended up with about 1/5 of everything I owned, including selling the restored '66 Beattle (my main mode of transportation had already been sold a year prior). I never looked back. In fact, when I returned from Australia (cutting things short there) I left almost ALL of it there and started over again. Let me tell you, there cannot be too many exercises more cathartic than that.

That's why I'm beaming right now. I cooked up the exact recipe above today and it feels great! Buh-bye stuff.

If only the French could make what they dream of...

What happens when Optimus Prime and Napoleon Dynomite have a love child?

One funky French car commercial.

(via Da' Blenda)

FW: Success

Yes, that test was much better. I suppose if you want to email a post
in (rather than log into blogger) you need to do so in plain text. So
here is another test...

tty-Jo continues to deliver

I call dibs on Rusty's left-behind bicycle

Read it and weep, Muhammed. Oh wait, he can't - Muhammed está muerto.

test redux

The last test was a failure and screw a bunch of things up... let's see
what this does...

You people make me sick

40% of you shmoes take prescription drugs? Galldang, we have issues. I mean, I know some people who take some serious medication and it is needed (look, I don't want to be driving down I-5 with some people who have not taken their Phenobarbital for 3 days). BUT 40% of Americans regularly take perscription drugs? OY!

This is why I refuse to go see a doctor on any regular basis. In fact, here is another admission: I have not been to a GP in over 4 years, and only then it was for a manditory physical and chest x-ray to obtain my visa to move to Australia. Gawd, you people make me sick!


Yeah, not likely. I was going to jump on this before P-Blender, but since he has his gig, he probably knew about a long, long time ago, in a boardroom far, far away.

Still, I'm still waiting to see what Paul at Wizbang has to say about it. He's not the biggest Microsoft fan out there, to say the least. Yet, he does not consider himself a blogger, any longer, so maybe he won't care.

I just hope we don't get a merger between Pyra and MS - the love child would turn out like that of the product between a brother and sister. You know, like Al Gore.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Tonight's sadness

Here is a sad story (not a recent one) for you cat lovers out there. I'm not a cat lover (in fact, to me, the best kind of cat is a dead one) so it's not so sad to me.

A few years back a friend of mine was living in a basement. Just on the other side of the window next to his room a mother cat decided to give birth to a litter (and I mean that literally) of kittens. So, being the compassionate guy that he is he watched over them and named them after certain Northwest natural landmarks, specifically the kinds detached from the mainland. Anyway, he appeared pretty attached to the fellers and what not, until one day I asked him whatever came about of them. "They all died," he said. He didn't seem so attached to them then - I was proud of the guy. Still, he fibbed a bit to the people at work about the fate of the kittens, especially to the girls, I suspect. So, if you are employed by a certain Major League Baseball team and this story sounds vaguely familiar, you didn't read it here.

The End.

Pretty in Pink

Introducing the "EiP pink Old Navy fleece pullover Babe"

Yeah - she's HOT. What're you going to do about it, sucka?

CORRECTION: The post originally read "EiP pink BLUE Navy fleece pullover Babe"... It has been corrected "EiP pink OLD Navy fleece pullover Babe". Hey, do I look like a shopper?

Suicidal "Mother Earth"

Ha! Ha!

/Nelson Muntz

So, who is she trying to kill? Us or her?

Bang! Bang!

So, while driving around this morning taking care of some tasks for the job I was think about maybe doing some more song writing and needed a subject. The first thing that came to mind was, "girls with guns (are hot)," (I particularly like the last pic with the shotgun) but robots with guns will suffice.

BTW, I'm declaring war on Frank J. and his t-shirt babe. I will soon have my own (to be determined) babe mascot - and NO, we are not having a contest to find a winner. There is already a long time winner - I didn't need to have a contest to find myself a girl.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Puppy Blender vs. Weenieman

"Next time, Bill, instead of raw eggs while training try puppy smoothies, weenie-boy."

For the "Compassionate Conservative" in you

In all wars there are guys who put EVERYTHING on the line, a whole lot of them. It's not very often, though, that one of those guys ends up putting almost everything on the line again, 30+ years later, for nothing more than the opportunity to tell it like he saw it. That's exactly what Steve Gardner of the Swifties did during this last election. Now, it appears, Steve paid a costly price for being so open with his experiences and available for the media. Now, I imagine things like this happen more often than we hear and it is an opportunity for those close to these people to do what they can to help out. Here is the kicker, though:
Gardner, the father of three, now is broke and unemployed. Nonetheless, he says he'd speak against Kerry all over again...
He'd do it all over again, simply for his country and the men and women serving in uniform right now.

Powerline has post information on how to contribute to Steve Gardner via PayPal. I'm sure offers for possible employment have flooded into Mr. Gardner and he will be doing just fine, but for the immediate future, go give him and his family a Christmas gift for his willingness to sacrafice a whole lot simply for speaking out.

This to go in the "NO S**T, SHERLOCK!" category

Look, I've never flown a fighter jet before, but I have certainly sat in "commuting" traffic and will be doing so, again, in the very near future. Yet, it seems that a study to determine whether driving in congestion or flying a fighter jet is more stressful seems a bit, unnecessary. Is it not obvious that sitting in traffic is more stressful than flying a fighter jet? How many people are lined up, eager to get in their cars JUST to get caught in traffic (If you are out there go get some help, now.)? Now, compare it to the number of individuals who line up at our military institutions for the opportunity to become fighter pilots.

Yeah, take your study and the money you were awarded to conduct this study and shove it up your...

Serenity now. Serenity now. Serenity now.

Monday, November 29, 2004

What happened to the landscape?

First, thank you to Patty-Jo for carrying the torch for a day. I was very pleased to return and find she had accepted my invitation and contributed some thoughts here. Don't make yourself a stranger to this blog, Patty. If you ever have anything you want to rant about regarding politics, policies, etc. the door is open. And remember to plug your own blog next time. That's part of the perks of guest blogging - you'd think your son would have explained that part to you, but considering he couldn't figure out HOW to accept the invitation it appears you're light years ahead of him. (Kidding, Mr. Bol - I've had problems with that invitation doohickey before, too.)

Yes, for those few loyal readers I have been away, even though I had returned from my Thanksgiving retreat. Mmm - I never get sick of venison (uh, maybe because I generally only have it a few times a year). Kudos to my 81 year old grandfather for continuing to walk out the back porch, spot a nice doe on the property and hit it from 200 yards, perfectly on the back of the neck. Breakfast is never as good as biscuits, venison backstrip and gravy.

Blogging may continue to be light for a day or so. Not only did my grandfather supply the meat, but he also supplied the head cold. I'm feeling just fine and can get around and work, but I am having difficulty concentrating on or caring about any current events, of which the situation in the Ukraine and the Guber race recounts here in Washington State are nothing to take lightly.

As well, I have geared a good amount of my attention towards the Adventure. On top of that, I will be moving this week (out of Seattle, northward, but not much) and my girlfriend will be relocating at the end of the month, too, so some time will be dedicated to those inconveniences.

Normal blogging should return in time.

Cold, Cold go away and don't come back another day.