Saturday, August 19, 2006

Servicemen Deathmatch

1st Lt. Ehren "I joined the Army for an anit-war, anti-Bush stunt" Watada vs. Lt. Col. Randolph "I'll show your a** what a wireless connection really is" White Jr.

Promoters' note: We regret to annouce the cancellation of this Deathmatch. 1st Lt. Watada has bowed out of the fight due to what he calls an unfair advantage based on moves such as the "Latte-Biscotti crowd". Additionally, at the proposition of being sued for all financial losses, including reimbursement of tickets, Watada's defense fund promptly agreed to settle out of court. When we receive said moneys all tickets will be reimbursed. However, upon our first attempt to collect the agreed settlement their response was, "See you in Hell!" We're not holding our breath.

Winner: LTC White.
(Wasn't that going to be the outcome anyway? The only difference is Watada's pants are still white instead of a brownish-yellow. - Ed.)

Friday, August 18, 2006

That's it! I'm tired of these mofo judges killing my mofo initiatives.

Yeah, so Snakes On A Plane. Well, I was right - she wasn't so happy about the Friday night date I had planned. It took 5 minutes just to convince her I actually bought tickets. 5 minutes of: "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." The only thing that ended it was showing her the Fandango confirmation email. She was resigned to it.

Fellas, let me give you a little advice - if you plan on taking your wife to see Snakes On A Plan make sure to budget for another $13 for a DVD copy of The Notebook and busting out Little Women, followed up with a weeks worth of Anne of Green Gables, 'cause you're gonna have some forced making up to do. Oh, and never forget the "sorry" word. Never leave "sorry" behind. You might even want to chase it with flowers.

Best line? "Great. Snakes on crack."

On a side note, sitting in front of us in the theater thoroughly enjoying himself was the always active Tim Eyman. Clearly, this is a man who has been married longer than I have - he was by himself.

That's all.

Hi. My name's Larry...

... This is my brother Daher and my other brother Daher.

Nice one, Bluto. Very nice.

Cleaning this place up...

This place needs some house keeping. That Severa Nazarkhan has been the "Artist(s) of the Week" and "Memento" featured film for about 80-something weeks. Maybe we should update it. (You think? - Ed.)

So, starting today, the artist will be Miss KT Tunstall. We're always looking for freshness here at EiP and there's nothing fresher than KT. She may be the most unpretentious musice artist to have "made it big" for quite some time. She knows what she does well and sticks to it. Must be those Scottish-Chinese roots of hers. We discovered (for ourselves) KT about a year ago and haven't looked back. In May she made a tour stop here in Seattle and put on a show that simply rocked a packed house (sound very iffy) of 300-400. It won't be a crowd that small any time soon - she's made the big show. Listen up - I think you'll like what you find, if you haven't already.

The Featured Film will not be, unfortunately, the highly lauded Snakes On A Plane (although, with reviews like this how could we not at least go see it. Oh man, my wife's gonna be so ticked when I tell her we have tickets to see it tonight). Actually, I can't think of a film I'd like to feature. Bummer.

Here is a film review, however:

Little Miss Sunshine - Napoleon Dynamite rated-R and not nearly as entertaining (gut wrenching funny). It's a definite "wait-for-video/pay-per-view". I like indie films, but not films that are indie just for the sake of being indie.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Kids: Theirs and ours

Today was one of those good working days where you work 2 hours in the office and the remaining 6 playing a round of 18 (travel & warm-up time included, of course) paid for by someone you spend a lot of money with.

During the round the subject of children came up. You know, now that I've been hitched for a year those questions become more prevelent as time passes. The EiP Babe is becoming increasily anxious to get on with the part of our family. I'll admit it, I am a little, too. Even after reading this* and knowing sometimes some peoples' kids turn out a little more than obnoxious.

*This whole post was simply so I could link to Doug TenNepal. Since it's been quite some time since I've blogged consistently it's been a long time since we've linked to Doug and I love his blog... And really, how could I not link to that post? You should check out Doug TenNepal more often yourselves.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Izzy vs. Hezbyotches: Cliff Notes

Okay, for those of you who were not paying attention during class and have chosen not to read the book here are the Cliff Notes for the latest Midnight Mideast Matinee:

Johnny: Ha! Ha! Look what I took.
Dave: Uh, better return that to it's rightful place.
Johnny: Watchya gonna do about it?
Dave: It's in your best interest not to find out.
Johnny: Oh yeah? Come and get it, jerk!
Dave: I'll give you one more chance before I hurt you.
Johnny: Oh, I'm so scaaaaared. Look, I'm so scared I'm taking it over to Old Man Libby's place.
Dave: Shocking, considering he invites you over to look at porn on his computer.
Johnny: Whatever.
Dave: Okay, so you're going to return that now.
Johnny: Uh, nope.
Johnny: WTF, man? My eye! My eye! I can't see.
Dave: I hit you square in your gut, moron.
Johnny: My eye. I can't believe you're trying to blind me.
Dave: (rolls eyes)
Johnny: I can't hear.
Dave: It's amazing you can actually talk after those punches to your gut.
Johnny: I'm resiliant.
Dave: Even to these?
(Continuous thumping)
Johnny: UNcle Francis, Dave's hurting me.
UNcle Francis: Is this true, Dave?
Dave: Yeah - but he started it.
UNcle Francis: Johnny?
Johnny: Heck no!
Dave: Bull - he took my sister's dolls.
Johnny: No I didn't.
UNcle Francis: He says he didn't.
Dave: What are those in his hands, then?
(Shoulder shrugs)
UNcle Francis: That's it. Dave you must stop hurting Johnny. I'll find one of your cousins to sit between the two of you in the car on the way to the dentist.
Dave: What about Johnny?
UNcle Francis: I said, stop hurting Johnny.
Dave: (under his breath) This is bull crap.
UNcle Francis: Zip it. Not a word.
(Dave leers at Johnny who is smirking).
Dave: (mouthed) I'm gonna get you.
(Johnny sticks out tongue. UNcle Francis exits stage left.)
Johnny: Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. (singing) We are the champions, my friends...
Dave: But you'll probably be crapping blood, tonight.
Johnny: ... And we'll keep on fighting to the end. We are the champions. We are the champions. No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions... of the world.

Left off with the distinct understanding of a sequel.

BREAKING!!! Kaboom...

This is a little too close to home, for me...
The cargo containers came from Pakistan and were put on board the Seattle-bound vessel from a "feeder vessel" somewhere in Asia, Milne said. The vessel originated in Hong Kong and made its last stop in Pusan, Korea, he said.

Aye! Aye! Aye!

UPDATE: Here...
It wasn't immediately clear what prompted the dogs to alert on the containers, but the bomb squad found no explosives or radioactive materials inside...


I have in my hand...

Exactly - Chamberlain's moronic Munich agreement Redux.

Sorry for the interruption. The war will resume shortly. You're welcome to wait in the lobby or get some refreshments - we'll call you back to your seats. Oh, and ushers will be standing at the doors with complimentary tickets to a holy war of your choice: Iraq, Kosovo, Kashmir, Somolia, Eritrea all playing now.

UDPATE: Condi's coming home...

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Quiet Reverie

Wow! Let me say it again - wowza. I found this site via my site meter. Lucky me. No, lucky him. She reminds me of my own wife, whom happens to be of native decent, as well.

It's like Christmas...

I love the smell of corruption in the morning...

If this doesn't stink of corruption and back channel campaign contributions then I don't know what does:
Washington state will pay more than $17 million to tribal and local officials to settle lingering disputes over the state's accidental disturbance of an ancient American Indian village and burial ground.

...Gregoire's office said the governor was invited to help with negotiations during a six-month mediation period.

$17 million for an "accidental distrubance"? We're paying out $17 mil. for an accidental disturbance? Imagine what those who have had their land intentionally disturbed by the government for the racket under the guise of environmental protection.

This is sick. Will we be able to count how many politicians (on either side) will be lining up to be "invited" to negotiations for lawsuits against governments?

Monday, August 14, 2006

Cell Phone Round-up: Saving soldiers' lives at home

If I were a serving member of the armed forces stationed in Iraq or Afghani I'd be pretty inspired reading about the recent citizen vigilance taking place in connection with "untraceable mobile phones."

And yes, I do believe this is also vigilance for the homeland, too.

Muslim problem...

Like Ace needs any links from me... But still:
"Until the Muslim community can demonstrate it is, in word and deed, as opposed to the slaughter of its fellow citizens as true citizenship in the UK, US, Australia, etc., demand, I'm not pretending we have an "Islamofascist" problem anymore. What we have is a Muslim problem.

If the Muslim community wanted to eliminate terrorism, it could do so within a month."


(This post not approved for Subjects of India)