OLYMPIA, Washington (State, not D.C. or Greece you geographic numbskull) - Today in a state already bogged down in a quaqmire of gubernatorial election recounts
, Democratic candidate Christine Gregoire filled a lawsuit against one of Washington's most notable landmarks and tourist attractions, Mount St. Helens.
Citing recent scientific findings indicating St. Helens is the states top polluter
, Gregoire and her allies claim many thousands of voters who would have cast their ballots for her were forced to stay home on election night because of physical ailments linked directly to the volcanoes recent activity.
"Clearly, if St. Helens would have waited until after November second to blow off steam we would not be in this current situation," said state Democratic Party Chair Paul Berendt. "I'm not saying St. Helens was involved with any sort of conspiracy to corrupt the voting process, but there's no doubt the irresponsible venting practices displayed leading up to and beyond the election are partially at fault."
Even if it was proved the volcano's activity might have played a role in preventing otherwise committed voters from getting to the polls it seems logical, then to conclude it would effect Rossi voters as well. When presented with this logic, Former Governor Booth Gardner (D) offered an explanation.
"No, no, no. That's not right. Rossi's voters don't believe in environmental hazards. If you don't believe in them they don't effect you. Christine's voters are those committed to ending environmental disasters, thus are far more sensitive to and in tune with environmental irregularities."
Some have said they believe Gardner's motivations are nothing more than a personal vendetta against St. Helens. In 1980 when St. Helens erupted, it wiped out thousands of square miles of forests that could have been logged by Weyerhauser, a company Gardner had married into.
Rossi headquarters released the following statement upon receiving the news of the latest legal tactic by the Democrats:
Are they serious?
Also named in the lawsuit as defendants are the National Forest Service
for their lack of proper management of the Volcano's eruption and venting cycle, the University of Washington's Department of Earth and Space Sciences
, specifically the Pacific Northwest Siesmographic Network
, for not supplying adequate forewarning to the National Forest Service and the family of Harry S. Truman
(non-President) for not convincing him to leave the mountain in 1980, saying if he were alive today he would have been able to curse at the mountain until it receded it's activity.
Mount St. Helens was not immediately available for comment.
Related articles: Interview with the Lava Dome