Thursday, September 30, 2004

Shot at becoming a blogstar: My interview with the Lava Dome

Recently, Mount St. Helens has been making waves in the news about another possible "Dean-like" eruption. The USGS continues to issue warnings about the "likelihood of a hazardous event", but what is the real story? EiP was able to sit down with the Lava Dome who is right in the middle of the latest controversy surrounding Mount St. Helens and get an insider's view on the situation. Here is that interview.

EiP: Thank you for taking the time to answer some questions.

Lava Dome: How long is this going to take?

EiP: Let's get right to it. First, you've known this mountain for a little over 24 years, correct.

LD: That's correct.

EiP: In your estimation, did St. Helens receive any special treatment from the Earth's mantel in 1980 based on it's dormant nature?

LD: I don't see what you're getting at?

EiP: Let me rephrase the qestion. There were plenty of elligible Cascadian volcanoes in 1980 to have received entrance into the "Volcanoes who erupted in the 20th century" club, but Mt. Saint Helens was the one who ended up with the title. Why St. Helens and not Mt. Hood or Adams or Shasta?

LD: I don't know, exactly. I wasn't around at the time of the decision, but it is my opinion St. Helens had some strings pulled behind the scenes.

EiP: That's interesting. Do you have any inclination who might have been doing it?

LD: No one's talking, but I can tell you I saw entire forests which had been disposed of during the eruption.

EiP: Did they reveal anything relevant to this story?

LD: Yeah - St. Helens has a serious temper problem.

EiP: But nothing indicating who was pushing the debris to the top, so to speak?

LD: No.

EiP: Let's forward to the present situation.

LD: Okay.

EiP: There have been rumblings, 1-2 per minutes in some instances...

LD: Yeah.

EiP: What is your perspective on those?

LD: They're real and scary - really scary. You should all be scared!

EiP: There have been rumors around the internet that perhaps these mini-quakes are being fabricated to push an agenda, that maybe the Earth is upset with the voters of the U.S. for selecting President Bush whose administration has rejected the Kyoto Agreement.

LD: Like you said, rumors.

EiP: Some Geologists are at odds with the seismologists, indicating the current string of quakes are not necessarily an indication of a larger event.

LD: I told you you should all be scared!

EiP: So these quakes are genuine?

LD: I can tell you that the readings from the seismographs are accurate.

EiP: But what about their authenticity?

LD: Look, I told the USGS to get them authenticated.

EiP: But you did lie to them?

LD: Yes, I lied. They were putting pressure on me to get the stats to them as quickly as possible.

EiP: Did YOU fabricate the seismographic readings?


EiP: Who did then?

LD: Some woman named Lucy Ramirez.

And with that our interview was abruptly ended as the St. Helens fell into another mini-quake. It was the 23rd quake today, of which the Lava Dome blames on the stress created from within the Earth's crust.

UPDATE: Puhlease - obviously Reynolds doesn't read EiP or he wouldn't be so hot on this.

UPDATE II: Who's funnier - yours truly or Cameron Diaz? Cutie Pie Reports. You decide!