I know you're wondering where MY letter is

Everyone's been getting their letters (here, here, here and here) from Rove. I'm sure you're wondering where my marching orders are, too. Well, I'll have you know I speak with him directly. Here is the transcript from the secret tapes recoreded on the bridge of the Death Star when we bumped into each other.

Darth Rove:
Hey.

Me:
What'sup

Darth Rove:
You will do as I say.

Me:
I will do as you say.

Darth Rove:
No matter how much the President
screws things up you will fall lockstep
in with my secret plan with the top
secret code name '1984'.

Me:
No matter how much the President
screws things up I will go along with
your secret plan code named "1984".

Darth Rove:
Wait a second. Are you sure you're
in a state of mind where I can most
effectively control what you think
and do?

Me:
Yeah - why?

Darth Rove:
'Cause I could have sworn you didn't
quite repeat what I said word for word.

Me:
Of course I did

Darth Rove:
Are you sure? 'Cause I said "...you
will fall lockstep in with my secret
plan with the top secret code name
'1984'." And you said "...I will go
along with your secret plan code
named '1984'."

Me:
Same thing, right?

Darth Rove:
See, now, I don't know if it's
official if you don't say it exactly
the manner I do.

Me:
Well, why does it have to be exactly
the same?

Darth Rove:
It's not about you saying it exactly
as I do. It's about you being in
the right state of mind for my complete
manipulation. You not repeating
it exactly like I do is not the
problem - it's just a symptom.

Me:
Oh, I get it now. So, like, I'm just
repeating what I wanted to hear
not what you actually said?

Darth Rove:
What? You're just repeating what
you wanted to hear not what I actually
said?

Me:
Whoa! Am I in control now?

Darth Rove:
Who was your sponsor?

Me:
Sponsor?

Darth Rove:
Yeah - you don't just get in here by
meandering in.

Me:
You will do as I say.

That was the last thing I remember. I woke up in a cell block next to Princess Leia the next morning. Unfortunately, I didn't have the fortitude to hold out and was given the serum from the hovering syringe doohickey. Needles to say, I repeat EVERYTHING exactly as it is said to me.