Friday, June 03, 2005

Would someone please get a hold of Andy Kaufman and tell him this is how it's done?

It's the TALLY that counts

Uh, can there truly be someone so dumb that they would actually publish this:
That's how Christine Gregoire became governor after the third counting, and that's where matters should have rested. All elections are imperfect. The winner is the person for whom the most votes are counted—not cast. The goal of beleaguered elections officials is to try to get the votes cast to match the votes counted, but when the difference is greater than the margin of victory, it's the tally that matters.
Oh no, he di'n't!

It's the building, Stoopid!

Oh, I see, it was the building's fault that King County screwed up the 2004 general election. Of course.

I wish this was a joke, 'cause their standard reaction to criticism by flushing money down the toilet is not funny, anymore.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Worst day of my life...

Today may well end up being the worst day of my life... I have to go try on tuxedos.

[You do know your fiancee occassionally reads your blog, right? - Ed. So? It's nothing against her - It's the tuxedo, stoopid.]

(sniff, sniff)

I've been signing the electronic tracker for the same UPS driver nearly every business day for almost four years now and I don't even know his name.

Isn't that that saddest thing you've ever heard?

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Your dumb eco-car is a scam! Duh!

Hey, check out the numbers on the hybrid chihuahua car. Yeah - sucks, doesn't it, eco-freak. Not to mention that they unexpected stall so much the government is opening an investigation, which means it must REALLY suck, 'cause the government knows everything, you know.

Let me get this straight...

... Muslims can't drink alcohol? WELLLLLLLLLL, no freakin' wonder they're blowing themselves up everyday - I would, too.

[Wait, you didn't know Islam prohibited the consumption of alcohol?-ED. Shut up, Ed! You're ruining the bit.]

Opponent of "Women's Suffrage" seeking SoS

A state senator in Kansas, who in the recent past made comments disparaging "women's suffrage" is seeking the nomination for that state's Secretary of State position:
Sen. O'Connor announced Wednesday that SHE is seeking the GOP nomination for secretary of state next year. O'Connor, 63, has served in the Legislature since 1993.[emphasis mine]

HA! That's right, Sen Kay O'Connor is a WOMAN.


UPDATE: By the way, this reminds me of a skit on The Man Show where Kimmel and his sidekick setup a booth at a county fair to "End Women's Suffrage" and was able to get numerous women to sign their petion - IT WAS CLASSIC.

"taking names" and for your benefit "taking tush"...

Uh, somebody call Christine Gregoire to let her know her defense team didn't call a witness the Judge is too thrilled with.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

NIXON on the stand

While you are all talking about RICHARD Nixon and the apparent revelation of Deep Throat, here in Washington State we have our own Nixon HANDY, Director of State Elections, on the stand in the election contest trial, and boy is he making an arse outta himself and completely undermining the defenses case.

Napoleon Dynamite says, "Idiot!"