Saturday, August 19, 2006

Servicemen Deathmatch

1st Lt. Ehren "I joined the Army for an anit-war, anti-Bush stunt" Watada vs. Lt. Col. Randolph "I'll show your a** what a wireless connection really is" White Jr.

Promoters' note: We regret to annouce the cancellation of this Deathmatch. 1st Lt. Watada has bowed out of the fight due to what he calls an unfair advantage based on moves such as the "Latte-Biscotti crowd". Additionally, at the proposition of being sued for all financial losses, including reimbursement of tickets, Watada's defense fund promptly agreed to settle out of court. When we receive said moneys all tickets will be reimbursed. However, upon our first attempt to collect the agreed settlement their response was, "See you in Hell!" We're not holding our breath.

Winner: LTC White.
(Wasn't that going to be the outcome anyway? The only difference is Watada's pants are still white instead of a brownish-yellow. - Ed.)