Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Global-and-Elsewhere Test Demos to take place

In what Kerry Campaign spokesman Joe Lockhart calls an important demonstration of " what exactly the h*ll" Kerry was refering to during his debate with George W. Bush last Thursday and his additional comments that it is "not just in the globe, but elsewhere", the DNC took the dramatic step of creating a live demonstration of how this test would be administered.

Tucked deep into the mountainous region of an unspecified western state, satellites were trucked in to create "the friendliest environment to communicate with those elsewhere". Said Lockhart, "What you're going to be witnessing tonight is the lenghts in which this candidate, John Kerry, is willing to go to be President. And if that means going beyond the Milky Way, then that's what it means."

Shortly after 8pm a Seti users group was introduced who planned on carrying out the initial "contact" with the presumed "elsewhere". "Sure, we've never actually made conclusive contact with other living beings, but tonight COULD be the night", said one member of the group. Quickly, Lockhart added, "This isn't meant to demonstrate that we can make contact elsewhere, it is meant to demonstrate that we are willing to reach out as far as we can before going to war for a mistake. George Bush never even attempted what we are tonight, and he has the full resources of the federal government. John Kerry will never go to war without exhausting all possible avenues of peaceful negotiations. He was in Vietnam, you know."

It was speculated by the GOP the only reason this ridiculous and phony demonstration was organized was to pander to the newest and most widely used voter segment tag in this years election - the "George Noory Dads and Moms".

Note: The above picture is originally used here by the Seattle-PI.