Monday, November 01, 2004

The Battle for Middle Iraq (or Bush's Victory march)

So, It has come to this. I am beyond predicting tomorrow's results so don't look here for an Electoral Vote prediction. No, instead, I have moved onto Wednesday and what shall come of the World once they realize Bush has been re-elected overwhelmingly by the American people.

First, the Euro-trash who were hoping against all hopes that they may help in defeating Bush will go back to their meaningless lives knowing they are once again protected by the American people and our resolve. They may even try to play nice, again. This election is what EVERYONE has been waiting for to make their moves. Yes, even bin Laden understands in this country it is not the Candidate or the President who is his enemy, it is the electorate. For all intensive purposes, OBL IS dead (remember, this is Wednesday we are talking about). Rest in Chaos, Osama.

Fallujah, on the other hand, will become a sea of death for the "insurgents". They claim to have chemical weapons? They have been reduced to threats - they know their days are about to come to an end. Many may surrender... to shooting themselves up with that sweet, sweet Afghani poppy. At least death will almost be painless for them. As they die they will understand they have died in vain and Iraq will commence with elections in January, just as Afghanistan did this month. Al-Zarqawi will be dead within the year, either at the hand of the U.S. Marines, the hand of an aide who turns on him or by his own hand. I predict the latter. Osama? Who cares - he just had his last hurrah on Friday. Nice to meet ya! Hope you know my name! He will be captured as his followers will have witnessed his greatest defeat by directly endorsing John Kerry, falling for the lie that Michael Moore's BS was a powerful argument to the American people, and then watching as the American electorate vote for the destruction of islamofacism. Osama's followers view him as a prophet and probably believe he has supernatural powers. Once they realize his mediocrity and illegitimacy, proved by his words having no effect on the weak minded infidel Americans, SOMEONE will rat him out for $25 million and shot at becoming an American citizen.

As for Iran? So many problems, so many scenarios, so many paths, but only one acceptable outcome - ANOTHER REGIME CHANGE. Once we have swept up in Fallujah, we put troops on the borders of Syria and Iran. We call for those inside Iran to take matters into their own hands and we OPENLY supply weapons and intelligence to them. W must make a very public statement in support of the internal revolutionaries of Iran - if he does, the Mullahs will fall faster than the Berlin Wall and Syria and Lebanon will go with them.
(Is this last prediction, regarding Iran, hopeful thinking? It might be - I hope not.)

Ah, what about Saudi Arabia, you ask? Pussies. They'll do whatever the heck we tell them to do. Maybe a Wahabi uprising will proceed as the last gasp of Osama. It would be interesting to watch - there is no way we're letting some crazy islamofacists get their hands on that much oil. Oh, you say "no war for oil". Look, ignoramus, OIL = POWER, whether you like it or not (in fact, I don't like it just as much as you don't). Yeah, we need to get away from our dependency on the ME supply and develop new affordable technologies, but you tree hugging hippy types are a little sensitive to drilling in Alaska's refuge, which, as you argue, is just a short term fix. NO FRIGGIN' KIDDING! But you choose - war for power(oil) or begin the process of ridding our dependence on foreign oil, even with a short term fix.

So what becomes of the crazies on the left in America? Hey, it's only 4-years away. BRING. IT. ON.

How about China? Ugh.

And finally, Kim Jong Il. Yeah, right, like anyone can predict what he's going to do. Now that we have pulled troops from the DMZ anything is possible. Could it be that he draws his attention away from America to direct it towards South Korea in an attempt to annex them? Would we do anything about it? Yes, we could be on the brink of another World War - but remember, pinkos, we didn't start it.