Tuesday, October 19, 2004

This sounds fun...

N.Z. Bear has put out the call to the "Justice Blogs of America". Sometimes my brain gets hurty from doing all this thinking.

So here is my offering...

My ficticious hero is Gordon Shumway, more widely known as ALF. With quotes like this, how could he not be:

Willie: Some people are so blinded by the thirst for money, that it causes them to lose their values, and do things they shouldn't do.
ALF: Well, that explains Ghostbusters II.

So, what does ALF have to say about his support for President Bush?

Alf here, Ha! No, seriously, I'd like to talk to you from the bottom of my 8th stomach about why I support President Bush's re-election bid. I've lived over 250 years, longer than the entire span of your nation's existence. I've seen many things in my lifetime, mostly in a separate solar system, but that is besides the point.

On today's Earth we face a much different threat - terrorism - than we did 18 years ago - being over run by cats because of social adversion in America to eating them. That's why I'm standing as tall as I can beside the President. My home, planet Melmac, has been a strong ally of the President's offensive plan to combat this terror threat. Why you might ask?

Do you remember the first debate between the two candidates? John Kerry mumbled something about a "global test" the United States would have to pass in order to take militaristic action. Then when he was asked to to explain his comment by a journalist ***cough, cough***... hairball, sorry... when he was asked to explain it he responded by saying, " I can do a better job of protecting America's security because the test that I was talking about was a test of legitimacy, not just in the globe, but elsewhere."

Ladies and gentlemen of the United States, I have seen that "elsewhere" test. How do you think I ended up here? If the "global test" is anything like the "elsewhere" test cats will be covering your neighborhood like a house of a 72 year old, never married woman in Detroit. And worse, the terrorists will be here, too.

I say NO to cats, unless they are in the oven, and NO to an "elsewhere" test. Vote Melmacian - Vote for BUSH! HA!

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