The Imperialist Barred Owl

Thousands of jobs were lost, entire communities were broken, fortunes lost and a way of life almost wiped out.

The northern spotted owl, which won federal protection in the forests of the West 15 years ago, is in serious peril despite logging restrictions that cost thousands of jobs.

Say it ain't so!

...the barred owl, described yesterday as the "bigger and nastier" cousin that is contributing to the demise of the little spotted owl.

OH. MY. GOSH! How could this happen?

The barred owls migrated to the West from the Great Plains and prey on the food of the smaller birds, push them out of nesting areas, mate with them and even kill them.

Holy crap - these so called "barred owls" are clearly being controlled by Karl Rove.

"They're just bad news," said Steven Courtney, a scientist with Sustainable Ecosystems Institute...

What do we do about it?

Federal agents plan to shoot some of the barred owls in a California experiment to see if the spotted owl will rebound.

It's going to be a bloody civil war. Our personal civil liberties will be taken from us and the world will never be the same.

In a more serious note I'd like to say this: You environmental freaks are idiots. You are not conservationists - you are wacko, freaked-out, zealous nutjobs. Why don't you just leave the rest of us alone?